Process and My First Weaving

Process is such a big part of my work:
I plan
Play
And mess stuff up
I undo
Redo
Rethink
I rework
Put it away
And revisit
And I do eventually finish

In spite of such factors sometimes process drives me batty
School and such deadlines require this process to condense
I enjoy such challenges
Sometimes I work myself into a corner artistically to see if I can get out
But sometimes I fear
That the process will not work itself out in the end
I fear I have been too spontaneous
And craftsmanship has faltered
After all, there is a fine line between random and sloppy

This was the case with my first weaving
It is five inches wide and ten feet long
I thought I could weave this no more
I thought I was losing my mind
After all that work
I feared that I would not like the end result
I mean there was a plan... well a half plan...
Weaving is technical enough that one needs
At least a half plan

So I began
Shortly after what I felt was a quarter of the way through
I was getting bored with the pattern
Lynn suggested I play with the blue line
So I did and broke it into three segments
None of this was in the "plan"
(Which is why it is a half plan)

I hoped the proportions were correct
I hoped things blended correctly
I hoped I did not run out of fuzzy red yarn...

After all, this whole piece was a response
To the last four inches I had woven
Finally, it was ready to come off of the loom
I was happy with the length
But felt something was missing
I looked at it
Something was not quite right
It was not "there"
It’s an internal thing that is usually quite accurate
Though I have yet to figure out where "There" exists

This was to be mounted on 1/4 inch molding with Velcro
That Saturday I had to buy ten feet of Velcro
This came to thirteen dollars and some odd cents
(and that was with a coupon)
I found that funny
I also had to buy a saw
I found it funnier that I was not carded for it
Considering I have been carded for fabric spray paint at Joann's

I hand stitched velcro to the back of my weaving
That took two and a half hours
With each stitch I felt this dreadful uncertainty
What if this still does not look right?

Finally, the piece was mounted to the wood

Fear was very close to me Something is still not right…
Don't panic

I wondered...
What if...

I walked to the left side of the piece

Loosened the Velcro and reattached it
This time with and undulating wave in the material
I stepped back
I smiled to myself in the solitude of the studio

“Click”

That was is...the weaving must not hang flat but rather in relief
As this fell into place words flooded my mind
Timeline
Life
Past, present, and future
The zip
Story
And just like that a title phrase came to mind
The Uncertain Present Moment